Live.Laugh.Love

Disappoint

Recently, I feel that I’ve been disappointing a lot of people-my fluff, my parents and now I’m gonna disappoint my supervisor as well. Wtf is wrong with me πŸ˜•πŸ˜•

I am so unhappy at work that every day I’m just looking forward to the end of work and looking for someone to rant my day’s unhappiness atπŸ˜” I don’t feel a sense of belonging at work, I have no pride working as a server there. This is a total opposite of me when I worked at the ice cream shop and everyday I was so happy and jolly about it despite everyone telling me to quit cause of the low pay πŸ˜•

Today, I cried on my way back home on the bus. I couldn’t take the shit that I was receiving at work anymore. You may say I’m weak but I really can’t handle it anymore. I don’t feel proud wearing the uniform at all, I question myself why I’m there everyday. However, the thought of disappointing those colleagues that are there and have treated me nicely is holding me back from submitting that resignation letter which I have already prepared.

I feel that working there is taking away all forms of my social life and personal life. I can’t spend time with my fluff anymore because at any free time I have, I need to work due to the requirements. I can’t go out with my friends. I can’t sign up for the courses that I’ve always wanted to attend because of work. I can no longer do the things I like. I can longer spend time with the people I love.

Dear god, please help me. Please guide me through this dilemma that I’m having.

I feel that I’ve been a total disappointment to my fluff as well. Sometimes I even ask myself why is he so forgiving. Will he forgive me if made such mistakes in the future as well? I feel undeserving of him suddenly. Like he is all the way up there and I’m still struggling to reach that God like status but I can’t cause I keep making stupid mistakes. I don’t feel pretty, I don’t feel pretty, I don’t look pretty so why did he choose me? With the looks he possess, he can get any girl he wants…..

I guess work took away the spark in me. The spark that was burning so brightly before I started to work there

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This entry was published on February 8, 2015 at 23:36 and is filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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