The walls have ears, that’s what they said, they can hear you speaking to yourself. Your mind has its own way of doing things, that’s what they said, sometimes it just refuses to compromise with your heart. Action speaks louder than words, that’s what they said, if you want something take steps to get it, stop daydreaming. Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect, but what if love is something unattainable? One step at a time, there’s no need to rush, but what if it just slips away because you weren’t quick enough? Stay strong and move on, that’s what they said, sometimes all you can do is put on a mask, a facade, in front of everyone else to prevent yourself from breaking down.
Have you ever reached the point where you just want to sit down, stare into blank space and shed a few tears? Have you ever felt like you’re an empty shell, not knowing exactly what you are doing at any particular point of time? Have you ever felt like no one really understands you, your feelings and actions? Have you ever felt that you have just lost someone so dear to you, you just want to break down and cry? Have you ever felt weak, vulnerable, lost, confused?
Opinions are meant to be voiced out, feelings are meant to be shown, yet we live in a society where we sometimes get judged by our own opinions, by the way we feel about certain things. We often need to surpress our own thoughts and emotions just so to keep the people around us happy, contented, while we ourselves would be left confused. No one has to know about what we really feel about certain things right? After all, if we say it out, we may be condemned, we may lose people dear to us and suffer.
I’m tired of hiding behind this mask. Maybe the ice queen shall return and reclaim her throne. I’m not what you think I am, no, I’m the total opposite of what you think I am. I want to smile yet sometimes it just feels so hard, like now. Leaving seems like a pretty good option, but its just escaping reality, I’d have to face it one day.
Live laugh love, that’s what they said, and that’s what I’m trying to achieve. I want to live, experience life. I want to be able to laugh at jokes, be happy. Most important of all, I want to learn how to love again, I want to experience what is it like to be totally in love with someone and to have someone falling head over heels for me, perhaps for the very first time. Is it too much to ask for?
This is a wish I make upon a star tonight.