A Reflection On Teenage Self-Harm

Thought Catalog

Trigger warning

It was in the March of the winter I turned seventeen
That I bought those pills I thought I would need.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard those words, how fast they took up space within my brain. How familiar this particular line seemed, in a song that could’ve been written entirely by me if not by Bright Eyes frontman Conor Oberst. I was probably 14 or 15. Time has erased my ability to pick and choose specific ages or dates out of the clouded haze my adolescence has become in the deep storage of my brain. But those words, that line, echoed an earlier me: 12, maybe 13.

It was in the seventh grade when I emptied the contents of a three-quarters’ full bottle of prescription pain medication into the zip pocket of my Old Navy coat. For some reason, I want to believe it…

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This entry was published on September 14, 2014 at 01:51 and is filed under Thought Catalog. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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